We talk pretty much incessantly about interest-based, mutual benefit, collaborative, problem-solving here on She Negotiates.

We claim that it’s possible (based on hundreds of research studies) to serve the greatest number of all parties’ interests simultaneously by learning and attempting to satisfy their needs, desires, preferences, and, priorities, to allay their fears and to meet their challenges.

“Sounds good,” people say, “but precisely how do I do that? Really, could you just give me the script?”

My business partner, Lisa Gates and I are working on a book of scripts for negotiating just about everything you can imagine. But the groundwork, the theory, the strategy and the tactics are just as important as the way in which you make the “ask.”

You Create Additional Value to Trade by Monetizing Everything

First, you list every asset you’ve got.

The Benefit You Deliver is your customer’s or employer’s return on investment (ROI) from your services.

When you calculate the value of that, you must remember that the people who are best able to deploy your services to obtain the greatest return on their investment should be paying you more than those less able to profit from your advice or services.

This means you should always be going up market.

Your Social/Business Network - Think of your social network as a potential source of value.

That’s all Facebook is - a social network in which people disclose their needs, desires, preferences, priorities, fears and challenges not only to their “friends” but also to the owner of the networks’ platform - Facebook.

The Facebook IPO put a $104 billion value on its users’ “interests” (customer data) when it made the ownership of its stock public this year.

You own a piece of the Facebook network - not legally, but practically.

You created a piece of that network.

Continuing Reading—

by Victoria Pynchon

Victoria Pynchon is an attorney-mediator and arbitrator. She is also a principal in the She Negotiates Consulting and Training firm for which her blog “She Negotiates” is named. In addition to writing for the Forbes.com legal blog “On the Docket,” Pynchon also authored the book “A is for A**hole, the Grownups' ABCs of Conflict Resolution.