Dan Simon

Dan Simon
Dan Simon teaches and practices transformative mediation in St. Paul, MN. He also writes the blog at The Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation: www.transformativemediation.org

The Only Impartial Direction is Up

Here’s me trying to persuade another mediator that she’s not being impartial if settlement is her goal.  I’m not going to be able to persuade her, but what do you think?Dan:  So when you mediate, you try to settle the case, right?Other...

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Empowerment, Recognition and Marriage Equality

The transformative theory of conflict describes the virtuous cycle that can occur when people who have been in conflict become more empowered and more responsive. The recent progress of marriage equality in the USA might provide an example of how this can work on a...

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Mediator Loses Control – and Good Things Happen

“This mediation probably won’t go anywhere – the parties are too far apart. And, by the way, I’m pretty sure my client won’t want to be in the same room with the other party.”“Ok, got it. And of course, we only need to continue the mediation for as long as you feel...

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Autonomy is a Big Deal

“I’m doing it because I want to, not because you told me to,” said in a mocking na-na-na-na-na sort of way, was a line heard often between my siblings when I was a kid.  Nobody wanted to be bossed around by a sibling.  So if you happened to want to do...

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Co-Mediating with a Problem Solver

“Hi Jane, great to meet you,” I said to my co-mediator.  We were paired up as part of a volunteer program connected to family court.  We’d been asked to help with a parenting dispute between a never-married couple involving their 2 year-old son.  We met...

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Really, Its Not About the Money!

“Dude, I want to give you this.  And I want to tell you why.” I stuck out my hand and my friend of over 15 years handed me $240 cash in twenties, rolled up.  ”I’ve been thinking about it, and I was asking myself ‘what can I do?’ and I realized this is...

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Nice Guys Fight on a Plane

Two guys across the aisle from me on a crowded plane, still at the departure gate, in a 2-person row, had the following conversation: Glasses Guy:  ”Can I have a little bit of that armrest?” Big Guy:  ”No.” Glasses Guy:...

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The World’s Next Top Mediation Model, Part 2

How the Transformative Mediator Helps For many who study transformative mediation, it’s hard to focus on clients’ interaction (which, as discussed in Part I, is characterized by a sense of weakness and self-absorption in relation to each other)-...

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