A Guide to Accommodating Conflict Style

by

Accommodating to Achieve a Positive Result

The accommodating conflict management style is one of the many ways to deal with conflict. When people approach conflict or conflict management, they typically choose one of five negotiation styles to handle the conflict—competing, compromising, collaborating, avoiding, and accommodating. These conflict management styles describe how a person can think about, negotiate, and resolve a problem. Most people have a default style that they use for their private, personal conflicts and a style that is hard for them to work with while in conflict.

However, when dealing with conflict in a more formal setting, such as mediation or negotiation, each of the five types can have a role depending on the situation. Because we do not default to all types, it is crucial to understand how the different kinds work and the best situations to use each one. This article will focus on the accommodating style to help identify the appropriate conditions and effective use of an accommodating style in a negotiation or mediation in the future.

Characteristics of Accommodating Style

A common characteristic of the accommodating style is the phrases, “I’m fine with whatever you’d like” or “You win. I lose.” People who practice the accommodating conflict style are often called peacemakers, willing to give up what they are asking to maintain harmony or ensure the relationship between the parties will remain intact after the conflict. Additionally, a person acting in an accommodating conflict style will exhibit the following characteristics:

  • Sacrifice: Accommodation often involves sacrificing what the accommodator is seeking to keep. This will usually look like a party giving up more than other people see as reasonable on the surface.
  • Selflessness: Accommodators often come across as selfless, setting aside their needs to provide for the other parties.
  • Low Assertiveness: Accommodators often let the other parties control the situation. When the decisions are being made, the accommodator is frequently not the leader of the conversation and will likely not be vocal about their positions. Occasionally, they will wait until everyone else has shared their position and then shift their own to make it more appealing to the other side.
  • Empathy: Accommodators are often more concerned with the other person and how they feel about the proposed solutions than their position.
  • Yielding: If the conflict becomes more heated or the positions are in direct opposition, an accommodator may yield their position to preserve the relationship.
  • Undercutting: Accommodators may undersell their position or own needs to convince the other party to pick their own.

Benefits of the Accommodating Style:

While some of the characteristics listed above may seem negative, the accommodating conflict style benefits people who default to accommodation and those using it strategically. For many negotiators, the returns of an accommodating conflict management style outweigh the losses in giving to the other side. Benefits of using this style include:

  • Preserving Relationships: When one of the parties in a conflict is willing to give more, it tends to maintain the relationship between the parties and open up communication. This can also make all the parties involved more willing to work with the negotiator in the future so that it can be used strategically in this way.
  • Friendliness: When one of the parties is accommodating, there is often a spirit of friendliness. When the non-accommodating party sees the willingness to compromise, they usually respond with kindness, which will help move negotiations.
  • Preventing Further Conflict: When the conflict is solved without much negotiation or a fight, it becomes more likely that the non-accommodating party will be willing to work with the accommodating party without conflict management.

Drawbacks of Accommodating:

While there are benefits to using an accommodating conflict management style, several drawbacks may cause issues in a negotiation. Understanding the problems that may arise will help keep the negotiation on track and help a skilled negotiator move into a different conflict resolution style when the other party takes advantage of the accommodator. Several of these drawbacks include:

Sign of Weakness:

Highly competitive negotiators often see accommodators as weak and will try to take advantage of the situation if they know the sacrifice.

Poor Bargaining Position:

If accommodation providers initially give away too much of their bargaining power, they may be left with little when more power is needed.

Spirit of Obligation:

Occasionally, offering a gift or a more significant amount at the beginning may make the other party feel as if they are obligated to reciprocate, which can turn into resentment.

Deep Pockets:

A generous offer near the beginning can signal to the other party that the accommodator has more to give and potentially significant or infinite resources.

Ideas Ignored:

Because accommodators do not often share their opinions, their ideas and needs may not be considered when the settlement is being decided. Better communication skills are required.

Loss of Credibility:

Overaccommodating may make the other party feel that the issue is not being taken seriously or that there is no way to settle.

Uneven Results:

Accommodators may often settle for offers below what is fair and acceptable to them and far above what the other party was hoping to receive.

Sense of Inadequacy:

Because accommodators may not receive what they hoped for to avoid conflict, they may feel that they are not capable of negotiating or doing well, reducing their self-confidence or self-respect as a result.

These drawbacks may have consequences in a negotiation, but many of these situations can be avoided with proper research and preparation. Understanding when accommodating will be helpful or harmful is vital to that preparation.

Proper Times to Use Accommodating Style:

There are several situations when an accommodating personality can be a strategic step in negotiating or handling conflicts. Some of these situations include:

Olive Branch:

If one party is at fault and wants to repair or preserve the relationship, it can be a mending gesture to respond to negotiations accommodatingly.

Less Important Issue:

Accommodating issues less crucial to the overall goals can encourage the other party to respond kindly to more essential issues.

Less Expertise:

If one party has a better option or more expertise than the other, it can be beneficial for the less experienced party to follow the other’s lead.

Low-Risk Negotiation:

If the dispute outcome is a lower risk to one party, it can be helpful to accommodate the other party and not cause unnecessary conflict.

Teaching Others From Their Mistakes:

When one party aims to teach the other that their position will fail but cannot convince them otherwise, allowing that strategy to start and fail can be more helpful than convincing the other party in negotiations.

Important Relationships:

When preserving or building a relationship is more important than achieving the perfect outcome, accommodating and maintaining the relationship can be beneficial. This is especially important when one party has power over the other.

Harmony:

When the conversation is tense and full of conflict, one party giving a little to benefit the other and restore harmony can drastically improve the situation.

Customer Service:

Satisfying a customer’s complaint through accommodation can be vital to providing proper customer service.

Realizing You’re Wrong:

If one of the parties realizes their position is wrong, it can be beneficial to end the negotiation by accommodating and meeting the other’s position.

Accommodating as a Default:

The rest of this article has focused on when to use an accommodating conflict management style strategically; however, it is also essential to understand how to proceed when one tends to accommodate in everyday life. If someone’s default conflict resolution style leans more heavily toward accommodating, it is essential to know that accommodators are often well-liked and respected by their colleagues and opposite parties. They are perceived as friendly and willing to work with other people and find common ground.

Accommodators are skilled negotiators who can achieve good results for themselves or their clients, but they must be aware of when the accommodating side takes over. Some points or warning signs to be mindful of are:

  • Resentment or Anger: If someone has conceded in an argument and feels resentment or anger, that is a likely sign that what they gave up was more important to them than they realized. Noticing this may help them understand where your interests lie.
  • Multiple Sacrifices: If someone repeatedly sacrifices in a negotiation or conflict, it may be a sign that a competitive personality is steamrolling them. In this case, it is essential to acknowledge what is important to them and stand up for it, even if there is conflict.
  • Stubbornness: Often, when accommodators feel as though they are being a “pushover,” they tend to dig their heels in to regain some ground and end up in defensive mode. When this happens, it is essential to acknowledge what positions would be best to set aside quickly and what positions are worth sticking with.

Conclusion:

Whether accommodating is one’s natural style or if they are using it strategically, it is crucial to understand and research their most important goals. Suppose the goal is preserving the relationship between them and the other party or achieving a winning outcome. In that case, it is vital to understand when accommodating can be strategically used to gain ground or save face when needed.

Watching for signs that accommodating is not working in their best interests and keeping themselves in check will help them to achieve the best possible outcome while remaining friendly with the opposing party. The balance may be difficult, but accommodation benefits are often well worth the work.

Contact ADR Times to learn more about accommodating conflict styles, conflict resolution, negotiation, and more!

Must-read Articles:

Emily Holland
Latest posts by Emily Holland (see all)
error: ADR Times content is protected.